Calm in the mourning

Welcome to the October edition of Mind Gym: 
Calm in the mourning. 

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the Pooh

Many of us will have been touched by the recent death of our Queen. On reflection, for me personally, I found this a little strange as I never knew her personally. However, as I read through various articles and pictures, I began to notice the influence she had on my life and on the lives of others. 

Grief is a powerful and important emotion. It can give us the opportunity to reflect and recall old memories of those that we once loved and knew. Bereavement is a process that requires some working through and can become blocked or trapped in our unconscious minds. We can carry on with life and it can surprise us by reappearing at any time. It can affect our ability to be our best at times when we need to be our best.

I worked with a client who noticed that her confidence was not what it should be during a job interviews. What came to light was that she was suffering from some unexpressed grief of a loved one that was creating this lack of confidence and blocking her ability to show up authentically.

So how what might we do to assist this important process to express itself though our lives?

Here are a few suggestions for you to try out:

Take time to reflect

Our defence mechanisms can often kick in and we reject or deny memories that are painful. Sit with them and see what you notice. Let yourself remember the good memories with that person. 

Let the waves come

Emotions can be very painful but they come and go in waves. Try sitting with them, allowing them to do their thing. A few deep breaths may simply be enough to help them pass.

Take action

Find some constructive way of working with what is coming up inside you. You might like to write down what’s coming up for you in a journal.

Talk, talk, talk

Find a friend or two to share about how you’re feeling about someone that you’ve felt close to, and the memories you have of them. Speaking things out loud can be healing, and can bring clarity as well as closure.

Get help

If you try these steps and are still struggling with feelings of loss, consider talking to a trained professional who has some experience in processing bereavement.

Partner content

To find out more about the bereavement within your own context, read this article from our partner organisation Beingwell.

If you’ve ever lost anything you’ve loved, you’ve likely felt grief. Grieving something is a horrible feeling, but one we will all face, in varying degrees throughout life. Navigating Loss

Other useful content

What should I say? It can be very difficult to know what to say or do when someone you know has lost someone close. We often want to offer support.
Supporting bereavement, Hospice UK

Personal experiences of death, starting difficult conversations, and managing with kindness and compassion, over the course of a one-hour video. To access the webinar, you will need to provide your name and email address. Then, you are directed to the video which can be watched online. Death, bereavement and grief

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